The 5 most annoying phrases used to defend Boris Johnson

Poor Ickle Boris is Trying His Best
Poor Ickle Boris is trying his best

There has been an undeniable increase of irritating people since Boris Johnson became Prime Minister. Here’s a summary of the reasons why they are irritating.

  1. “He’s trying his best, leave him alone” – Excuse me? What? Trying his best? This is something you might say about an underperforming toddler. It is not something you would say about the most powerful man in Britain, a full grown adult who was educated at the most prestigious school in the land, and whose entire life was driven toward reaching a point where he holds the position of absolute power in the UK. He is the Prime Minister, not a baby. Expect more of him, damn it.
  2. “You couldn’t do his job,” – Well, to this one I can only say, I’m not the Prime fucking Minister. Boris Johnson is supposed to be the very best political mind in the country, the smartest, the most rational, the strongest and most carefully measured brain in Westminster. He is meant to personify the UK’s integrity, honesty and drive. He’s supposed to inspire, to resolve and calm, not to let everyone down, lie, enrage and divide. I couldn’t do any better? Christ, my cat could do better.
  3. “I think Boris is doing a great job” – Well, how, exactly? What great things has he done? Name one. You can’t. (They never can). This phrase is used mostly by people who don’t even follow politics and can’t be arsed to think about what’s happening. People say it because he hasn’t done anything that affects them personally; they’ve kept their job, their house, their triple locked pension and their loved ones. This phrase is used by the inward-lookers, the I’m-alright-Jacks, of this country. Also, he’s not Boris. He’s Johnson.
  4. “He’s stood up to Europe for us” – No, he hasn’t, he’s ruined British business with a pathetic “deal” that is already falling apart at the seams. Far from sticking up for us, he’s stuck up for himself and could not care less how it impacts the rest of us. Ask a fisherman, or a farmer, or a teacher, if Johnson has stuck up for them. Go ahead.
  5. “He’s quite funny though, isn’t he?” – No, he’s not. The joke’s over. He is destroying lives now, both financially and physically. He is not funny any more. We all had a laugh at his buffonery a decade ago on Have I Got News For You, but now this is serious. People’s lives are at risk. The idiot is endangering us. He is not funny. Not at all.

Boris Johnson is an embarrassing person to have as Prime Minister, but sometimes his supporters make me cringe even more.

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