Why fish like Brexit

Why Fish Like Brexit
Why Fish Like Brexit

Now be honest, did you ever think much about fishing boats, or nets, or fish generally, before 2016? Did you ever think Fishing would be such a hot topic, dominating the political agenda and being held as a clear example of failed promises and lies? Did you imagne in your wildest dreams it would be an industry that hit the headlines and drew attention in Westminster on a weekly basis?

No, neither did the fish. They were just going about their miserable aquatic lives before this, getting caught and eaten on a daily basis. They didn’t need any kind of rebellion to beat the human masters, though: All they needed was to carry on swimming while we fucked everything up.

The real winners are the fish. 

Now the fish (“Happier being British” according to Jacob Rees-Mogg), are looking like they’ve finally caught a break: We can’t export what we catch, because it’s too expensive and difficult to do so, therefore we aren’t going to bother catching it, or at least not quite so much. Fishing businesses are going bust, up and down the shores of the country. Devastating for businesses, hard to swallow for those who voted for Brexit, and irresistable to those who voted to Remain. But the real winners are the fish.

It’s a huge blow to people who pretend they are vegetarians but still eat fish, of course. They’ll have to pretend they never agreed with eating fish before anyway.

I keep some tropical fish in my aquarium, and I’ve had a brief chat with them about it. Honestly, they’re pissing themselves laughing at us. Humans, eh. Just sit back, let us fuck something up, and there might just be somebody else who benefits by mistake.

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