I like fish. They are the lovliest, most colorful, peaceful and harmless creatures one can hope to encounter on this planet. Some of them also taste great, and that’s why the British Isles has a centuries old industry built up around their existence.
Sadly, with the advent of Brexit, the most senior authority on fishing, the Fisheries Minister Victoria Prentis didn’t get around to reading the most important document of her industry for a generation, the Fisheries part of the so called Brexit Deal. She was, in her defense, far too busy organising a Christmas nativity during a the peak of a global pandemic when nobody’s allowed to have nativities.
Dominic Raab, Secretary of State, has insisted the end of the world of fishing is “not the fault of Brexit”. So we are left to understand it’s purely coincidental that trade relationships were broken off on New Years Eve 2019 and the industry began to collapse a fortnight later. Fair enough.
The fishermen, known for being staunch Brexit supporters, were let down, as many warned they would be. But, you know what they say. Give a man a fish and he’ll feed himself. Give a man a sovereignty and he’ll have to eat that instead.
Meanwhile Jacob Reese Mogg, has proclaimed that fish in our waters are “happier now because they are British”. He neglects to mention the hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of fish left rotting uselessly on docksides because of the trade barriers he was instrumental in creating.
In Wales, fish worker Nerys Edwards complained that her generations-long family business was in danger after £50k worth of lobsters was stuck in border limbo because of Brexit. Nerys of course was one of those who staunchly supported Brexit, back in the days of Unicorns and Sunlit Uplands. There are similar stories up and down the country of fishermen having fallen for the con – hook, line and sinker. It seems that voting choices, rather like lobsters, have a way of biting you on the arse when you least expect it.
There’s only one thing for it. Call in Captain Birdseye to sort it all out. He is the only Fisherman’s Friend left.